By Amy Blakeslee
Apr 5, 2010
When a man finds out that he is about to become a father, he has a million thoughts about what that really means. He has visions of throwing the baseball or football with his sturdy son in the front yard. He might daydream about teaching his daughter to drive or walking her down the aisle when she marries a doctor or lawyer or prince. His plans however, may go awry when the bouncing bundle arrives and brings a pile of bills that have to be paid. In the course of trying to be a responsible family man, dad might get so caught up that he does not spend enough time with his child.
But, being an involved dad does not always mean spending hours on end with your child or spending tons of money on them. It may be far simpler to be an involved dad. Tips include:
- Taking time out to ask the child about his day.
- Making the time to eat a meal with the family at least a few times a week.
- Making sure that you know at least a few things about each child.
- Making a tradition that only you and the child share.
- Read a story, watch a show or do something with each child.
Just you and me, kid
Picking something that you could share with the child alone could be as something as simple as watching a sporting event, reading a story or a certain movie. A new dad might find himself overwhelmed with love the first time he is left alone with his brand new baby, but may be even more infatuated when he finds that his baby “shares” his love for hockey or football. As the child grows and his/her tastes change, that one thing could still bring them back. Maybe it could become a tradition for dad and child to cook a meal for mom on certain days of the year.
Following in the ol’ footsteps
Dad might be thrilled when his child announces that he would like to play a sport like his dad or that she would like to join the family business. An athlete might start by showing off his trophies and other memorabilia and then could take the child out to learn the game first hand. Taking your child to work is another good way to not only spend some time with them but to show them where daddy is spending so much time when he is away.
Family traditions
For some families, there are traditions that are passed along from generation to generation. Maybe the head of the household carves the turkey at Thanksgiving or is in charge of selecting the family’s Christmas tree. Passing these traditions down is another way to bond.
Involved even when you are away
Being an involved dad does not mean that you have to be there at every moment. In fact if you are away for business or because of separation or divorce, you can still be an involved dad by asking questions about the child’s daily life and activities. Just because you are not there does not mean that you should not be able to look at the watch and think about what your child is probably doing at that time.
If you are not living with your child, set up a special time to talk to them so that you can catch up for the day but make sure that the child feels comfortable calling at other times as well. If your child has a computer, you can email back and forth or instant message (make sure that the child has permission and supervision before surfing the net).
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