By Amy Blakeslee
Mar 30, 2010
Some kids go through a biting phase when they are young, but thankfully grow out of it fairly quickly. Others suddenly go from being sweet and easy to deal with to being a ticking time bomb of tension and barely suppressed rage. Whether it is a phase they need to grow out of or something more serious, there are ways to deal with an aggressive child.
Know your child’s aggression triggers
Your child may act out at certain times or when over stimulated, hungry or very tired. For some children certain games or toys may bring out the aggression and some kids may be triggered by certain people (like certain friends). If you know the trigger, you can watch for and head off aggressive bouts before they get started.
Intervene before the aggression turns violent
If you see that your child is about to go into a kicking, screaming or other physical act of aggression, it is time to step in. Remind your child that it is never acceptable to put their hands on another person at any time. If you have to remove the child from the situation, do so as quickly and quietly as possible. If you are at someone else’s home, you may have to leave. Remind your child about another incident that ended with leaving early and that it will continue to happen until they have better control.
Investigate reasons for the aggression
If your child has gone from your sweet angel to the town terror seemingly overnight, you must investigate why. Is the child in the middle of a growth spurt? Is there a health or diet reason for the behavior? Is there a psychological reason for this new aggression? Is the behavior isolated in one place or does the aggression show up regardless of where the child is? For some children, aggressive behavior can be changed with diet, medications or counseling; for others it could be as simple as changing bedtimes and adjusting schedules.
Try team sports or other forms of guided activity
Once the most serious reasons for the aggressive behavior are ruled out, it may only be a matter or redirecting the energy that fuels the aggressive outbursts. Giving the child a way to burn off energy or something to focus on can stem or even completely stop the negative behaviors. Karate or other forms of martial arts help children channel their energy in a positive manner while learning self-discipline. Joining a team teaches the child how to work with others as a unit. If they truly love the sport they will find a way to toe the line or face being removed from the team.
Try alternate therapies if deemed necessary
If the child does need counseling, traditional therapy may not help very much. In fact, it is thought that in some children with aggressive tendencies that sitting around and talking about feelings will make them even more prone to physical acts. Other forms of therapy may be less intimidating to them; these could include play therapy, art therapy, pet therapy and music therapy.
- In play therapy, the child will act out what makes them feel aggressive and may begin to understand how their behavior affects others.
- With art therapy, the child is encouraged to draw his feelings including the aggression.
- Pet therapy pairs an aggressive child with a dog or cat and in some cases a horse so that they can learn to care for another creature.
- Finally, music therapy is very effective with aggression, even for those children who are exhibiting aggression in conjunction with autism.
Make sure that you follow up with the aggressive behavior even after it seems to be gone, so that it does not return unexpectedly. Patience and perseverance is the key when correcting the behavior of an aggressive child.
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