By Amy Blakeslee
May 11, 2010
When it comes to being a single parent, dating can be an extremely tricky issue. After all, you don’t want to stay single and alone forever, but you also need to make sure that whoever you do end up dating is someone that your kids will like, and who will be as good to them as they are to you. One of the most difficult things to do when you are dating someone new is deciding the right time and way to introduce this person to your kids. After all, you want them to like your new friend, while at the same time knowing that this person is not there to replace the parent who is no longer living in the home.
Before introducing your kids to anyone new, make sure that they understand why you are dating. Let them know that grown-ups need to have their own friends, but it doesn’t mean that they do not need their children, too. Children are smarter than we give them credit for, and they are more apt to understand than we may think.
When Is the Right Time to Introduce My Kids to My New Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
If you are just going out on a first or second date with a person, there is really no need to introduce this person to your kids. In fact, if you date more than one person, this can become confusing for children, because they will always be meeting new people and not know if they should bother getting to know that person.
If you are a single parent who is dating different people, and not planning on getting serious about them, there is also no need to introduce this person to your children. On the other hand, if you have met someone who you think is going to be around for a while, then you should start slowly integrating that person into your children’s lives. After you have been dating for a few weeks, invite them to dinner with your family. This is a great chance for everyone to get to know each other in an informal setting.
Some people think that you should wait at least a year before introducing your new significant other to your children. Agreeably, it is important to wait, but if you wait too long, your children, as well as other family members and friends, may begin to wonder why you are not bringing this person around. Once you are certain that this person is someone that you want to have in your life (which should not take a year, anyway), it is probably time to introduce them to your kids. Single parent dating is tough, but it can be a lot easier when the person you are dating gets along with your kids, and you will want to know if they are a good fit with your family.
Single Parent Dating: Making Time for Your Kids
Often, when we are in a new relationship, that relationship takes significance above all others, many times including the relationships with our kids. After all, you want to spend as much time as possible with your new boyfriend or girlfriend. But you can’t let the time you spend with your new partner interfere with the time you spend with your kids.
Make sure that you set aside a specific amount of time each day to spend solely with your children. If you have a date, plan it for after the children have gone to bed, or at least for after supper. Of course, you can have dinner dates too, but make sure that you still spend quality time with your children before going to dinner. You can still prepare dinner for them, and sit and talk with them while they are eating. Then, play some games, or other activities that you enjoy doing together as a family.
Don’t forget to plan activities that you and your date can do with the kids. Take the kids on outings and let them get to know your new friend. Single parent dating doesn’t need to be difficult if you make sure that your children, and your date, know that they are each important to you.
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