By Amy Blakeslee
May 12, 2010
Does this situation sound familiar to you: Your relationship with your wife is over and has been for some time. You share custody of your children and are ready to get back into the dating game. You have been out with a few women, but the one you really hit it off with just happens to be a woman who is significantly younger than you. Can a relationship like this work, especially when there are kids involved? Single parent dating can be tricky enough, without adding another factor such as a younger woman to the equation. But it can work if you take your time and try to do everything right.
How to Tell Your Kids You are Dating a Younger Woman
No matter who you are dating, it is important that you are up front and honest with your children about it. They are smart, and if you start dating someone on a regular basis, but do not introduce this woman to them, they are soon going to wonder what is up. They will either be wondering what is wrong with this woman that you don’t want them to meet her. Or worse, and probably more apt to happen, they will think there is something wrong with them, and that you are ashamed to introduce them to your new girlfriend.
It is also important to let them know that no matter how much you love this new woman who in your life, that you love them even more, that they will always be your kids, and that they will always be first in your life. But your kids also need to know that as an adult, you need to have an adult relationship, and the person you get involved with, no matter what her age, is your choice and not theirs.
Introducing Your Kids to the Younger Woman You Are Dating
If you are a single parent dating a younger woman, you have a number of ways that you can go about introducing your kids to her. If you think that the kids would be comfortable having her in the home, you can bring her over for dinner, or even better, a fun and relaxing backyard barbecue. This way, the kids can get to know her in a setting that is familiar and comfortable for them. And, if you are doing fun activities such as playing Frisbee or catch, you can all have a really great time together.
If you would rather have your kids meet your girlfriend in neutral territory, plan some sort of outing that you can all do together. Go to a theme park, or have a picnic in the park. Just make sure that the atmosphere is fun and relaxing, so everyone will have a good time and want to spend even more time together. It is essential that if you are planning to enter into a relationship with the younger woman, or any woman for that matter, that everyone get along well.
Introducing the Rest of Your Family to the Younger Woman You Are Dating
When you are a single parent dating a younger woman, you are sure to have all kinds of friends and family members trying to give you advice, usually involving not getting involved with the younger woman, “for the sake of the kids.” Is this really the reason, or is it the fact that they are ashamed and think that you are trying to act like a kid again by dating a younger woman? Explain to them that you really care about this person, and dating her is not because you are going through some sort of mid-life crisis. Let them get to know her, and in time, they will probably see in her what you see in her.
A single parent dating a younger woman does have its challenges, but these can all be overcome when you really care about each other, and everyone works together to ensure that everyone gets along well and is happy.
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