By Amy Blakeslee
May 14, 2010
It is an age-old question that depending on who you ask, you will get a wide range of answers: should older women date younger men? It is becoming more and more common these days to see older women dating younger men. In fact, there is even a term for a woman who does this: cougar. It is becoming more and more socially acceptable for older women to get involved with younger men, but is it alright when the woman has children? Does this have a detrimental effect on children, or, is it something that is becoming so commonplace that it does not effect them in the least?
Can a Younger Man Handle a Built-In Family?
When you are getting back into the dating world, it is incredibly important that you be open and honest with your dates about your children, especially if they are living with you. This is especially true if the man you are dating is younger. Often, younger men are not ready for that type of a commitment, and you do not want to find this out after you have begun falling in love with him.
On the other hand, there are plenty of younger men who are mature enough for this type of relationship, and already know exactly what they want out of life. These men often prove to be a stable influence in the lives of their girlfriend’s children, and being younger, can often relate to the child even more than you can, at least in some situations. Being a single parent dating a younger man can be difficult when there are children involved, but, if he is mature enough, he will be able to handle the situation easily, and not be overwhelmed by the sudden family that has been literally dropped into his lap.
Can Kids Adapt to Having a Parental Figure that is Younger than Mom?
Although it may seem strange at first that your new boyfriend is younger than you (who knows, he may even be not much older than your kids, if you have teenagers anyway), it usually doesn’t take long for them to adapt. Kids are not overly concerned about the age of their parents’ dates, but more about how that person treats them and their mothers.
It is important that if you are a single parent dating a younger man that you explain this to your kids before introducing them. This way, there will not be any surprises, and possibly comments or actions that will be embarrassing to you and your date. Make sure that they understand that although he is younger than you, the two of you still have a lot in common, and really care about each other.
A great example of an older woman/younger man relationship where the kids look up to the man as a father figure is that of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. This is a couple that seem to have made this type of relationship work, giving hope to others in these relationships and who have children.
Another thing that is extremely important when it comes to your kids accepting the person you are dating is to make sure that your dating does not interfere with the quality time you spend with them. Make sure that they realize that they are the most important people in your lives, and no matter how much you like the younger man you are dating, they come first.
What Will My Family and Friends Think?
Although dating younger men is becoming more and more socially acceptable, it is still something that many people frown upon. If you think that your family and friends will not like the idea of your bringing a younger man around your children, sit down and talk with them. Tell them all the great things about your new boyfriend, and introduce them when the children are not around, so everyone can get a chance to know each other better. This way, if there is any sort of animosity in the air, the children won’t be around to sense it.
If you are a single parent dating a younger man, it may be tough going, but, once everyone is on board with it, you may just find that you are in the best relationship of your life.
Perfectmatch.com - The best approach to find the one.
|
