By Amy Blakeslee
Apr 30, 2010
The other day, you leaned over and asked your half asleep husband if he would take the kids Sunday afternoon. Blame it on the half awake brain or your breath in his ear, but he agrees to do it. Now, fully awake, he realizes that the guys were going to hang out and watch the game that day. His cell phone buzzes rather sadly and one by one, his friends tell you their sad news: They can’t come hang out because they are going to keep the kids that day. Now what? Suggest having the guys and the kids come over and make it the Daddy Bowl. (Do not call it a Daddy play date in front of the other guys, because they will beat your husband silly and he will never, ever live it down.)
Guys don’t let guys hang alone
The guys will figure out whose house is the most child friendly as well as the one most likely to have guy food to boot, and they will all gravitate there.
Guys don’t do the potluck thing
When it comes time for food, women will plan a menu and assign courses. Men will all show up with the same bag of chips and everyone is thrilled. Usually, their menu involves calling for pizza at halftime so someone should remind them that they need to feed the children as well. (Intervene on the behalf of the children and leave food and instructions for what age group gets what).
Guys don’t do organized activities
Unless there is a ref, an ump or other official and a puck or ball being chased, men are about as organized as a herd of demented yak. They will figure out what to do once they get there, but if you think they want to read your notes from the last mommy play date, you are barking up the wrong tree.
Guys have different levels of participation
There will be one guy who is still stuck in brand new baby mode where everything, everywhere is precious or adorable. He will be the one who is elbow deep in every baby’s poo by the end of the afternoon as dad after dad passes their kid off to him for changing. That guy is also looking at a life long nickname. “What ever happened to Doug?” “Doug? Who’s Doug?” “You know, Poo Patrol.” “Oh yeah, him…”
Guys talk to each other differently
Mommy play dates might end with a group hug and everyone cooing and gushing over each other’s child. Daddy play dates might end with name calling, noogies and atomic wedgies, and the kids won’t be a whole lot better.
Guys may view this as an opportunity or as a punishment
Whether they had a good time, bad time or blah time, the guys may never repeat a play date this on this scale again. They may tag up with the kids in smaller groups but it doesn’t mean there was failure. There is just something about large groups of dads and kids that seems to upset the natural order of things, at least in their mind.
Encourage activities that dad and baby can do together with words and deeds
No matter what you do, do not second guess dad’s attempts to participate. So, your child is dressed in part of a Halloween costume and two mismatched socks. Big deal. Let him have his moment. Tell him how great he does when he does these things and he will do them again. Nag at his every effort and he will stop trying altogether. So, his idea of a daddy play date was him and his pal watching football while the babies babbled in the playpen beside them. The kids were happy. Dads were happy. Sounds like fun.
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