The Grownup Way to Relax

How many times have you come home from a family vacation feeling like you need a vacation?  The minute you and your children board a plane en route to Grandma’s, their energy explodes like a kid full of junk food on a Tilt-A-Whirl.  Of course, it’s your responsibility to keep pace with them and at the same time keep track of everyone’s plane tickets, passports, luggage, and whatever else they need to have a good time. That kind of “vacation” can be a little overwhelming for the adults in the family.  Taking the kids to Disney World, for example, is something the little ones will never forget, and although it does provide you with this year’s Christmas card photo, it’s not exactly relaxing.

Just because you have kids, doesn’t mean you can’t have a soothing grownup vacation once in awhile.  In fact, you owe it to yourselves as parents to occasionally decompress in the luxury of a hotel that doesn’t dress up the staff as storybook characters or serve meals with crayons on the side.  All too often parents feel guilty about taking a vacation without their offspring, but the reality is you can’t continue to feel overwhelmed and still be a patient parent.  At some point, you’re going to snap, and then you’ll really beat yourself up for being snippy with your kids.

A parents-only vacation doesn’t need to be a huge deal to be effective.  You don’t have to plan a two-week trip to Europe by yourselves to get a good refueling.  A weekend getaway can re-establish that long fuse you need to get you through parent-teacher conferences and nightly homework episodes.   Nor do you have to unleash loads of cash to have a good time, because having a good time probably means sitting alone together on a veranda listening to the sound of silence while watching a sunset.

The best place to find a grownups-only vacation spot that fits your time constraints and budget is on the Internet.  After the kids are safely tucked into bed, surf the web for bed and breakfasts in the area you’d like to visit.  Even if it’s in a neighboring city, you’ll be surprised at how many hidden gems come up that you never knew about.  When you find a place you’d like to stay, it’s worth giving them a call. Often B&B’s (as well as hotels) have promotional specials that don’t make it onto their websites.

Or if you have an activity you like to do, but don’t get around to doing it often because you’re busy being parents, search the Internet for that.  For example, if horseback riding is your thing, or tennis, or snow shoeing, or sailing, or even if you just want to vegetate at a spa (my personal favorite), search for hotels and B&B’s that have tie-ins with those activities.  Sometimes they’re included in the price of lodging, depending on the package you purchase.

And with air travel being such a drain on a vacation budget these days, consider driving to your destination.  How nice would it be to pop in a book on tape during a road trip and have someone else read to you for once?  Or you might welcome the luxury of actually being able to have an adult conversation in the car without one of you having to turn around every five minutes to remind the backseat inhabitants that the front seats are not soccer balls, so please stop kicking them!

Sometimes the simplest things in life make all the difference. Even one night away from home can give you the breathing room to finally relax.  So if you feel the need to get away without the kids, maybe it’s time you invited Grandma out for a visit so she can bond with her grandbabies while you and your spouse go into hiding for the weekend.  After you come back you’ll be rested enough to take on anything – even a family trip to Disney World.

Stacy Dymalski is a freelance writer, filmmaker, and stand-up comic. Her screen credits include co-writer (with Zack Van Eyck)/director of the feature film "Jupiter Landing" and writer/director of the web sitcom series "Hagnet."  Stacy learned about being a parent the hard way: she became one. A working mom, Stacy finds the humorous lessons in family life and then writes about them in magazines and books (much to the annoyance of her two sons).  Stacy recently co-authored 'The Vixen Chronicles' with Brandy Pinkerman: