The Secret to Kids Birthday Parties

When you have kids, you have birthday parties.  And in all honesty, it’s fun to celebrate the birth of your child, but let’s remember you have at least 18 birthdays, per kid, to rejoice before the flock leaves home, which means a lot of planning, a lot of spending, and a lot of cake mashed into your carpet.  It’s no wonder your oldest child’s first birthday is an extravaganza that rivals a three ring circus complete with edited video by an Academy Award-nominated director, while no one can even remotely recall your youngest turning one, and by the way, did anyone remember to take pictures of whatever it was we can’t remember we did?

Once the novelty of having your house trashed by toddlers hopped up on sugar wears off, you start looking for places at which to hold your children’s birthday parties.  Of course, your kid weighs in heavily on this, and soon you’re hearing things like sleep-over, video arcade, and the inevitable Chuck E. Cheese (where kids can be kids and parents can just be comatose until it’s time to switch from being human ATM machines to being chauffeurs, because someone has to get these kids home before the birthday mom’s head explodes).  I have to admit, the first time I went to a Chuck E. Cheese I was amazed because it was such a sensory overload, that I thought wow if we could just harness this energy the power company could light up the entire Los Angeles Basin for a year!  The second time I went I wanted to shoot myself.

As a veteran kid-birthday-party-thrower, I’ve learned that the only way I can handle my own children’s birthday parties is to make sure they have parties that I also enjoy.  I mean, come on, I’m throwing the darn thing, paying for it, chaperoning it, driving to it, and enduring hours of responsibility for the safety and behavior of children who in some cases still don’t understand the word no.  Why can’t I have fun, too?

Now that’s not to say the kid shouldn’t get a say.  But instead of letting the sky be the limit, put a limit on the sky.  Give your child several party ideas, but also stack the deck by making sure you like the ideas, too.  For example, instead of going to a rat-themed pizza parlor with overpriced arcade games and scary ball pits, why not have a bowling party?  Kids as young as three can bowl with bumpers and have a great time. And even if you’re not a bowler, wouldn’t you rather be bowling than searching for kids in a tunnel that smells like someone needs a diaper change?

For more artistic parties consider a ceramic café like Color Me Mine, where everyone gets to create beautiful pieces of pottery to take home in place of those ridiculous goody bags (the contents of which end up in next summer’s garage sale anyway). Or you might go to a bead shop, where the talented college student who works there shows your brood how to make really cool medallions or bracelets. 

If you like your parties more physical, why not take the gang roller- or ice-skating.  Many rinks offer parties that include games on skates, as well as free skating.  Or you can haul everyone to a climbing gym, where party packages include lessons as well as scavenger hunts on the faux rocks.  And finally, I know a mom who had a tennis birthday party at a local park.  She reserved the courts (at no charge because they were public courts), hired a tennis pro to give lessons, and then had a round robin tournament.  These were 5th and 6th grade kids, and they loved it.  The best part?  It was a fraction of the cost of going a Chuck E. Cheese.

So you see, you don’t have to endure the pizza parlor party for your kids to have birthday fun.  With a little creativity they can have their cake and eat it, too, and you can enjoy yourself at the same time.  What a concept, huh?

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Stacy Dymalski is a freelance writer, filmmaker, and stand-up comic. Her screen credits include co-writer (with Zack Van Eyck)/director of the feature film "Jupiter Landing" and writer/director of the web sitcom series "Hagnet."  Stacy learned about being a parent the hard way: she became one. A working mom, Stacy finds the humorous lessons in family life and then writes about them in magazines and books (much to the annoyance of her two sons).  Stacy recently co-authored 'The Vixen Chronicles' with Brandy Pinkerman: